V.47 - Något religiöst i blicken

Veckans tema "Ögonkontakt" fick mig att tänka på några rader som jag och en kvinna jag beundrar skrev för sisådär tre år sedan. Det gäller en väninna i et annat land, och hela korrespondensen täcker ungefär ett halvår. Vi hade båda ganska turbulenta perioder i våra liv, girltalk-mässigt, så det fanns mycket att diskutera. Men eftersom båda inte bara var kvinnor av kött och blof, utan även konstnärligt och analytiskt lagda personer, blev det mycket konverserande kring sexualitetens väsen överhuvudtaget.

Vi avhandlade uppenbarligen vid någon tillfälle hur man ser ut när man har sex, för hon skrev följande:

But he really does have some sublime thing going on. I remember you mentioning how people look while having sex? Like, in their faces? I didn't think about it much with [N], but I've thought about it with [A]. He looks positively beautiful when he's close to orgasm. Beautiful. Almost like a classical saint in pain. It's extremely touching to look at. I prefer to be on top, so I get to see him lie there and just be beautiful with closed eyes. Like a small boy, in a way.

Jag tyckte om det. Jag tänker fortfarande på det ibland, för jag tycker det var så fint skrivet. Några mail senare återkom jag till temat:

But anyways, I don't like many things about that position (deep inside I have always suspected that the whole "girls like being on top because they're in control there" is a myth made up by men who want to lay down and do nothing) but I love one and that's how much you see of the partner and that you really see... the coming coming? luuuuulz. But really, I love the moments before the orgasm, I love feeling the change of rhythm, the tension in his body, see the face go from the somewhat concentrated expression of goal-seeking pleasure into something very helpless before the forces beyond his control. I think that's where the religious part comes in - this is so much bigger than you, and so overwhelming. And the small boy thing too, I really recognize it, the eyes wide open "there are great many wonders in the world"-look.